The chronic underfunding of Australian universities is something of a tragedy. But Macquarie Universitys revenue-raising response, reported in the Herald this morning, is nothing short of hilarious. The university whose somewhat cruisy student lifestyle has led it to be dubbed Club Mac has now decided to take it to the next level by giving courses aboard a cruise ship.
Its time I stopped writing about affairs in the wider world, and used this blog as the confessional for indulging private concerns that is the trademark of blogging. Because theres something I need to get off my chest. I am in an abusive relationship. And it doesnt hurt any less just because it happens to be with my computer.
I love juice bars. They serve delicious sugary drinks that I can convince myself are relatively healthy because they’re low in fat. Even though if I don’t exercise, the substantial carb load will turn into fat. That is, unless I take them with a slimming supplement like ‘Skinny BOOST’. Phew!
It’s not exactly a huge surprise that the banks are gouging us all blind with ATM fees, but the figure of $600m has outraged everybody in the media today. And that figure will certainly make me think twice before using a non-bank ATM. Although I still will, because I’ll be at a pub, and the idea of paying $1.50 to get more cash will seem like a small price to pay next to the amount I’m about to dump on the pokies.
Today’s Australia Day, when everyone sings Advance Australia Fair incessantly. (The version on the tennis during the Hall of Fame induction was particularly painful.) It’s commonly known that there is an obscure second verse. But did you know that the original song had five verses, many of them even more excruciating than the anthem we suffer through today? For instance, “Her sons in fair Australia’s land / Still keep a British soul?”
Who’ll be Australian Of The Year? On second thoughts, who cares? Just get those annoying dignitaries off-stage and let us enjoy our day off in peace. Dominic Knight winces at the embarrassing excesses of patriotism that are trotted out on Australia Day.
You would be forgiven for not realising it, but last Sunday was the inaugural A Mate For Head Of State Day. The republican movement stuttered into life with a bold new message to try and ignite popular interest in dumping the Queen for “a mate”, that is, one of us. The new slogan is certainly a powerful argument for change – to a better slogan. A less awkwardly lame slogan. Preferably one that doesn’t rhyme.
All truly great horror-movie villains never really die. Characters who’ve terrorised us for decades like Freddy Kreuger from the Nightmare On Elm Street series, hockey-mask Jason from Friday the 13th series and Deuce Bigalow from the Male Gigolo series always rise from their grave in the last frame, threatening us with the prospect of yet another sequel. So too with the greatest villain of our time, Osama Bin Laden, who has just released another video from the undisclosed location that everyone except the US Army knows is Pakistan.
It isn’t said often enough, but Damir Dokic is a genius. In the vast pantheon of crazy fathers from Joe Jackson to Richard Williams, there is no-one to hold a candle to him for sheer lunacy. And while Jelena struggles for form, Damir’s latest outburst shows he’s absolutely on top of his game.
The credit for today’s united Europe should go, above all, to the Eurovision Song Contest. Just a decade after World War II, it brought the people of that continent together to celebrate their belief in love, hope and appalling pop songs.
French and German alike put aside their differences on that historic first Eurovision night in 1956.
When they voted for the Swiss entrant, Refrain, ahead of the morbid Belgian runner-up, The Drowned People of the River Seine, they were really voting for a brighter future. And once the power of music had joined the people of Europe, today’s all-encompassing European Union was but a small step away. Continue Reading →