When I heard Pauline Hanson was running in the NSW election, I found myself getting angry. Who does she think she is, I wondered, coming into our state and trying to take the jobs of our NSW MLCs? And I can guarantee she won’t make the slightest effort to assimilate to our NSW values. Oh no, she’ll just bring her own anti-Muslim beliefs in and try to impose them on the rest of us.

The rules for migrating here are too flexible, I reckon. You shouldn’t just be able to rock up, and jump the queue ahead of other New South Welsh people who’ve built up their political careers the hard way. I don’t like it. No, not one little bit. Continue Reading →

If you have been watching the Ashes this summer, you must be either suffering from chronic depression, or English and smug. But the misery being meted out by England’s batsman is nothing compared to the anguish I feel when there’s an ad break and I see one of those dreadful ads featuring the Colonel. Because once again, KFC is sponsoring the cricket.

Now, I understand that even someone with the misfortune to resemble Colonel Harland Sanders deserves to make some kind of living. And if KFC want to base their marketing around a guy whose most useful contribution to human civilisation was a warning not to wear an all-white suit and cravat combo, that’s their choice. But one of the world’s unhealthiest fast food chains as a major sponsor not only of the leading sport of the Australian summer, but especially of Twenty20, the form of the game that most appeals to kids? Are Cricket Australia out of their minds? Continue Reading →

I didn’t get much sleep, and like so many bad things from the lack of video replays to the vuvuzela, it’s FIFA’s fault. Last night, I stayed up until the wee hours in the hope of what always looked like an unlikely victory for our World Cup bid. As a teenager, I was at Circular Quay when Juan Antonio Samaranch pulled our name out of that hat, and I was hoping against the odds for a similar memorable, mispronounced moment.

Now, I could have copped a loss to the USA, or perhaps even Japan or Korea. All are far bigger football markets than we are. But when Qatar’s name came out of the envelope, I was incensed. However, now that I’ve slept on it, and had the chance to really mull over whether we were the best choice to host the World Cup in 2022… I’m still incensed. Continue Reading →

Mark it in your diaries, Australia – the royal wedding has been set down for April 29th. Which gives us all plenty of time to book ourselves into remote destinations without TV, internet or phone coverage. Sure, there’ll still undoubtedly be some schmuck in a plane skywriting “WILLS ♥ KATE” in the pristine blue above us, but it’ll be a lot better than suffering through the endless hype in the media, which is already insufferable, and will only get worse. Just make sure your royal-proof hideaway isn’t Lizard Island off the Queensland coast, as there’s a chance you’ll end up in the very place where the happy couple are honeymooning. Continue Reading →

Friends, remember what you were doing yesterday, for it will go down in history as the day of the second, greater, Chinese Revolution. For yesterday was the day that David Cameron, British Prime Minister and all-round good guy, told China a few home truths about democracy and the rule of law. And yesterday was the day that China’s leaders, who for so long have been presiding over an unprecedentedly successful economic modernisation programme and yet have seen fit not to introduce even the slightest element of popular representation, finally saw the error of their ways.
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Well, Mark Arbib’s support for gay marriage is a shock. I wasn’t aware that he had a conscience, an opinion independent of ALP polling, or even a face. His most significant recent contribution to public debate was ducking out of that episode of Q&A, when he was represented, entirely adequately, by an empty chair. And yet he was the first frontbencher to break from the party’s wussy, wedge-avoiding stance on the issue. I couldn’t be more surprised if I discovered that Genghis Khan enjoyed flower-arranging. Continue Reading →

f you only learn one useful thing from this article – which would be well above average for my posts – then learn this: there is no such thing as a high-profile, anonymous blogger. That’s the lesson that @GrogsGamut, the blogger, tweeter and sometime Drum contributor has learned after the Australian‘s James Massola outed him late last night as arts bureaucrat Greg Jericho. Which is a name so secret-agent cool that I might well use it as my own pseudonym someday. Continue Reading →

When I was a kid, my local State MP was Ted Mack, who was so independent that he even lived in Neutral St, North Sydney. He was Mayor of North Sydney too, and during his time, spearheaded major building projects in places I regularly visited, like Stanton Library and North Sydney Oval, where I used to watch rugby league before the Super League war destroyed the Bears. I looked on with schoolboy awe as our whole suburb was transformed under the watch of this architect-turned-politician. He was a white-haired, groovy-vintage-car-driving political superhero, able to renovate municipal buildings in a single bound. Continue Reading →

I’m going to post a signed copy of Comrades to the person who leaves the most amusing excuse for why they haven’t read it yet. Please leave yours below and don’t forget to include your email address! (Update: it’s now closed.)

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