Comrades giveaway

I’m going to post a signed copy of Comrades to the person who leaves the most amusing excuse for why they haven’t read it yet. Please leave yours below and don’t forget to include your email address! (Update: it’s now closed.)

Thanks – many of them were very funny! Here are some of the Twitter entries.

nicolefouzas:[email protected] Because I live in western sydney and thus as a woman am not allowed to read. *sadface*
Scossie:[email protected] was scared a Coalition government would outlaw Comrades and start book burning after it disposed of boat people and killed NBN
JonoMakai:[email protected] Haven’t read Comrades because I’m waiting for it to come out in ‘pop-up’.
kitschnkaboodle:[email protected] too late to win, and I have read it but my answer is ‘because it’s problematic’
vitriolandbile:[email protected] but not an excuse to limit your reading according to technological fashions 🙂
MsDzT:[email protected] @domknight GET A LIFE
StephPuls:[email protected] Because I’m too busy raising funds for a proper publicity campaign for it.
juliabowes:[email protected] because it doesn’t feature me… Oh and I spent all my book buying money on beer at the launch
alancramer:[email protected] WTF is comrades?
significance:[email protected] I haven’t read Comrades because I’m waiting for the movie to come out.
bradlancken:[email protected] oh and because I found the wanky, arrogant young lib usu president a confronting stereotype 😉
bradlancken:[email protected] because I thought the final product was unlikely to be an improvement on the imperious draft!
tallhayden:[email protected] I havent read Comrades yet because Im waiting for Andrew Hansen to make a song about it instead.
jiangyin:[email protected] because i’m waiting for the movie to come out first :p
freed_misery:[email protected] Haven’t read Comrades yet since I’ve been smuggling in refugees to spite Tony Abbott.
irascibleman:[email protected] Haven’t read Comrades yet because I’m too afraid I’ll identify too much with the characters in it. #follysofyouth
benharkin:[email protected] I haven’t read Comrades because my dog ate it. He loves devouring good literature, and has a keen eye for page-churners.
jdmau:[email protected] because Comrades was not on Bob Katter’s 20 point plan.
AndrewRiddle36:[email protected] @therealamylou Mew meat dress? It’s made out of kittens? THERE’S your shock value.
therealamylou:[email protected] Too busy sewing my new meat dress!
benharkin:[email protected] Because there’s only 9 minutes left in this excuse-making for the book and I had to think up a good one!
MsDzT:[email protected] i havent read comrades because it isnt available on kindle.
gregorstronach:[email protected] Haven’t read Comrades due to professional jealousy.
booktopia:[email protected] My therapist says the only way to a full recovery is to forget that I ever readComrades.So I guess I haven’t? booktopia.com.au/comrades/prod9…
sarahlalalala:[email protected] because I refuse to pay retail price, unlike @Wil_Anderson ‘s ‘Survival of the Dumbest’ which is $14 on eBay.
mattyburke:[email protected] in Soviet Russia BOOK READS YOU!
RadleyStreet:[email protected] i actually did buy it, but my dog ate it before i could read it…
brensoft:[email protected] Haven’t read Comrades cause I’m too busy avoiding those SRC president campaigners.
benharkin:[email protected] I’m a Russian writer locked up in a Gulag too long. I thought your book on the experiences would depress me further, Comrade.
LivBird8:[email protected] Because I’m too busy trying to think of something witty to tweet to you to win myself a free copy
ScrappyMe:[email protected] more than 140 characters, try condensing it
kitjoegia:[email protected] I havent read comrades because i usually wait for the movie
@reynoldsgf: @domknight because I’m Tony Abbott. Really.”
buffeh:[email protected] because I’m obviously not smart enough to come up with a witty political joke that will help me win.
angryshot:[email protected] because you haven’t sent it to me yet
RietJR:[email protected] The bourgeoisie took all my money
maldeviant:[email protected] This is the first I have heard of this… It’s a book yes?\
SamuelMullins:[email protected] been reading Dostoevsky. I figure I need to build to a book like yours.
PierreBezuhov: I haven’t finished reading “Faceless knife-wielding night-time murdering knifing bastards”.
mrtiedt:[email protected] Because I’m planning on buying the audio version, shouted at me by Bob Katter.
mrtiedt:[email protected] Because I couldn’t find any sticker saying “As Seen on TV”. I only read books that Oprah tells me to read.
markperryAU:[email protected] Dom who?
Forkgen2309:[email protected] Because the World Cup was on and now the Premier League has started again!
tallhayden:[email protected] because Im not bourgeoise and there is very little reading light down the mineshaft where I work.
reynoldsgf:[email protected] because I’m Tony Abbott. Really.
carlytamarin:[email protected] because I haven’t been reeducated yet.
mrtiedt:[email protected] Because I’m fairly certain Clive Palmer ate my copy.
budgieishere:[email protected] if I read political satire, I get ebola.
counterobsess:[email protected] Because I didn’t know it existed.
brettacollett:[email protected] I haven’t read Comrades yet because I’m locked away in a Gulag. HALP!
sarahlalalala:[email protected] I haven’t won a free copy yet.
MrAndrewD:[email protected] because it’s not for sale where I am!
colsim:[email protected] Because it’s a self-serving reactionary piece of propaganda designed to keep the proletariat in stitches and off the barricades
bharm0:[email protected] Because it wasn’t on the book list recommended 2 me by a retrenched Telstra employee from Tamworth aka “advisor 2 the ignorant”
kl_003:[email protected] Because Disco Boy didnt root around enough
jdmau:[email protected] because the us unemployment rate is 10.5%.
trishjb:[email protected] coz I haven’t even read disco boy yet. #pointsforknowingyourfirstbook?
buffeh:[email protected] I was going to, but then you gave it away.
schlep_star:[email protected] I’m a neocon tosspot who is threatened by the very mention of a pinko leftist student polity tome? #maynotbeatruedescription
CaptnSassyPants:[email protected] Because I asked Rob Oakeshott to outline the plot for me and I’m still waiting for him to finish…
ruthgreenwood:[email protected] can we make that free postage? #iwanttoreadcomrades
dingotookmybaby:[email protected] me read books now? Unpossible
GaloisGhost:[email protected] Did you write a book? Is that what you do?
courteneyh:[email protected] because I’ve been hiding in bob katter’s hat advising him (badly) about who to pick.
emmajapan:[email protected] Because I really only like reading your books while on filthy trains between Delhi and Varanassi?
buffeh:[email protected] because you haven’t given it to me, slacker.
wallacesutty:[email protected] because @andrewbolt advises against reading such barbarians.
JamesTinniswood:[email protected] I’m allergic to literature. It makes me break out in a scarf.
typingmonkey:[email protected] I didn’t read Comrades because my stockbroker advised me that it was unprofitable. Besides, reading’s for fags.
Australianne:[email protected] um, that would be because I’ve never HEARD of it!
IanLoveridge:[email protected] Didn’t think it was legal?
LisaWakeUp:[email protected] Because I haven’t even gotten around to reading the free signed copy of Disco Boy you gave me… [true! from previous competition]
gerardchogan:[email protected] waiting for the twitterised 140 chr-instalment version: “cmrds”
macleanbrendan:[email protected] I took precautionary measures against my inevitable Oedipus complex.
nickspurway:[email protected] I’m too busy replacing your DOA iMac.
tip66:[email protected] because if you have to give them away then it must not be any good
ret56fe:[email protected] Still waiting on delivery of a signed copy from its slackarsed author… [NB this is true!]
philsenior77:[email protected] ’cause I heard it sucked. Wouldn’t mind a free copy though 😉
rachaelsowden:[email protected] I am waiting for you to send me a signed copy to Uralla. We have no bookshops and I couldn’t find your website. 😉
paper_bag_girl:[email protected] because.
timothygoyder:[email protected] But like Ben Cousins, I’m keen to get on the gear again, however bad it is for me, and would love your book
timothygoyder:[email protected] i have election/political PTSD- & thus have been abstaining from political books – even funny ones.
danielstone:[email protected] I’ve been pretending to write my thesis?
mrbenjaminlaw:[email protected] I can’t read.
Jo_MacD:[email protected] Because my signed copy hasn’t arrived in the post yet?
mrtiedt:[email protected] Because my name is P Garrett and I’ve been gagged and chained to a pole in the basement of parliament house for the last 8 weeks

35 Responses to Comrades giveaway

  1. Michael Knight 15 September 2010 at 12:08 pm #

    I was expecting ‘Comrades’ to read ME!

  2. Barclay White 15 September 2010 at 12:09 pm #

    I was going to come up with a really witty excuse that would have had you laughing down the isles, but to be honest I really couldnt be bothered.

  3. Andrew 15 September 2010 at 12:11 pm #

    Because my name is P Garrett and I’ve been gagged and chained to a pole in the basement of parliament house for the last 8 weeks

  4. Claire Connelly 15 September 2010 at 12:11 pm #

    I was kidnapped by aliens, strangely they resembled a colony of Tony Abbott lookalikes. After they probed my brain, they wiped my memory and ability to think rationally or feel emotion. I left the ship with a strange dislike of foreigners and paranoid that Australia was going to be taken over by people on boats. It is only after months of repression hypnosis therapy I was able to relive the abduction, the only thing I have been reading for months is a bible. My therapist is slowly introducing me to new literature to reintroduce me to important ideas such as tolerance, acceptance, and the UN Convention on Refugees. She says Comrades is important for my recovery. Don’t let me turn into a Liberal clone… please, because of my memory loss I don’t remember who I voted for. I need to ensure I am properly reconditioned by the next election.

  5. Megan Orrin 15 September 2010 at 12:14 pm #

    My serious excuse is that I’m about to go overseas for a year to teach in a volunteer capacity and don’t have money to spend on luxury items at the moment. My amusing excuse is that reading books is bad for the environment. It promotes the destruction of forests, just so selfish people can read books printed on paper that KILL THE EARTH!

  6. Angus 15 September 2010 at 12:15 pm #

    I was going to read comrades, but for fear of looking like I was using it as an instruction manual to this semesters elections. TRUE STORY.

  7. bellastarkey 15 September 2010 at 12:16 pm #

    I work in publishing. People in publishing don’t read anything unless it is given to them free, preferably grovellingly given.

  8. Gil 15 September 2010 at 12:17 pm #

    I have been too busy trying to avoid student politics this year and was worried it would make me go straight back to it.

  9. Lauren Eadie 15 September 2010 at 12:24 pm #

    I haven’t read Comrades yet as the purple llama called Sarah who I use to ride to town and do my shopping on, was kidnapped by Santa Claus and taken to the middle of the desert. She tried to contact me and apologise for not being able to take me (as she is my only form of transport since Frederick the walrus tragically died in a freak mayonnaise accident) but then realised she was a llama and llamas don’t talk, they only spit. When I found out what Santa had done to poor Sarah, I set off immediately for the desert but was forced to stop because a parade of three-headed ninja ferrets claimed that they owned the desert and that I could not pass. I then returned to my house and realised I could simply have walked to the shop to buy a copy of Comrades but then my legs fell off which made walking quite difficult and for that matter any transportation because I don’t have wheels either.

  10. Julia Persico 15 September 2010 at 12:33 pm #

    Well I was going to read it of course, but I’m broke at the moment and can’t afford it. I’m waiting until the economy picks up so I can get a better job and be able to buy it. But then I heard that the Government and Tourism Australia have spent $3 Million of our Tax dollars bringing the multi-billionaire Oprah out here thus making Australia broke, Oprah even richer, and our economy and livelihood doomed. I need to save all my pennies. Sorry Dom.

  11. Jordan Messenger 15 September 2010 at 12:55 pm #

    Whilst I am just a poor boy, and I need no symphony. I believe that with this book I will move forward, with the help of this book I will tackle the greatest moral challenge of our generation.

    That and my bank balance is currently 3cents, screenshot provided if you wish :P.

  12. Dimitri 15 September 2010 at 12:56 pm #

    “The SRC dis-endorses this unofficial and publication; a publication which intends to disrupt the unity of our union, to distort the facts of our benevolent attempts at domination, to pollute your minds with filthy lies that drag the name our our revered institution through the mud! Rise up COMRADES and put down this revolutionist capitalist pig!!”
    Urgent Propang.. umm Press Release from the SRC at the University of 1984.

  13. Jordan Messenger 15 September 2010 at 12:57 pm #

    Argh, I meant sympathy haha

  14. Dimitri 15 September 2010 at 12:58 pm #

    “The SRC dis-endorses this unofficial and publication; a publication which intends to disrupt the unity of our union, to distort the facts of our benevolent attempts at domination, to pollute your minds with filthy lies that drag the name our our revered institution through the mud! Rise up COMRADES and put down this revolutionist capitalist pig!!”
    Urgent Propagan.. umm Press Release from the SRC at the University of Sydney.

  15. Colin Simpson 15 September 2010 at 1:04 pm #

    Because it’s a self-serving reactionary piece of propaganda designed to keep the proletariat in stitches and off the barricades

  16. Dimitri 15 September 2010 at 1:06 pm #

    “We have had feedback that the SRC is spamming this forum with multiple posts with the same content. It is not us, we say, but merely the lacklustre response of a capitalist pig’s website! Further proof that our way is the only way moving forward. Resistance is futile!”

    P.S. Actually, very sorry for double post, browser hung on me and I didn’t realise it had already been accepted…

  17. Sophie Hamley 15 September 2010 at 1:18 pm #

    I’ve been too busy reading The Atlantic’s review of Jonathan Franzen’s Freedom – a book that one assumes should be prioritised over all others, given that Franzen is, apparently, the sine qua non of modern novelists and looks mysteriously like a young Stephen King on that recent cover of Time magazine. Yet the review itself delivers such a satisfying dollop of schadenfreude that I can’t help rereading it – and this prevents me from buying anyone else’s book, let alone reading it. That, and I’m obsessively watching Battlestar Galactica (Edward James Olmos version).

  18. deckchair guru 15 September 2010 at 1:29 pm #

    Too busy peeling grapes and shining shoes for Roozendaal, mate.

    Says a few more years of this and he’ll set me up in a nice new house in Wollongong.
    Apparently he knows a builder or something.

  19. Kayla 15 September 2010 at 1:29 pm #

    Because I’m still watching Rob Oakshott’s press conference! Geez, finish already… 😀

  20. Andrew 15 September 2010 at 1:53 pm #

    Because no one has given me a free copy yet

  21. Casey 15 September 2010 at 1:55 pm #

    I’ve been too busy reading books by @JohnBirmingham and @scrivenersfancy.

    It’s not that I don’t care, they are just ahead of you in the line.

    If my copy arrives by the end of the week though there might be opportunity to jump the queue. If your nice about it I might even write a crap (as in poorly written) review on blog that no-one reads, that’s bound to help you move some units!

  22. Matt 15 September 2010 at 1:58 pm #

    I was going to read it, but then I got on with living my life.

  23. Evan 15 September 2010 at 1:59 pm #

    I’m waiting for the DVD

  24. Wolf 15 September 2010 at 2:00 pm #

    The Opposition have told me I don’t need the full NBN fibre version of your book… but will offer me a cliff notes version instead….

  25. Saxon 15 September 2010 at 2:01 pm #

    Disco Boy was crap, so why would I read Comrades…???

  26. Dave 15 September 2010 at 2:02 pm #

    It is not worthy to take the place of Les Miserables in the “Revolutions – Those that failed” section of my bookcase.

  27. Andrew 15 September 2010 at 2:05 pm #

    Because I’m fairly certain Clive Palmer ate my copy.

  28. Andrew 15 September 2010 at 2:13 pm #

    Because I couldn’t find any sticker saying “As Seen on TV”. I only read books that Oprah tells me to read.

  29. Will 15 September 2010 at 2:14 pm #

    Senator McCarthy confiscated my copy before I had a chance to read it.

  30. Andrew 15 September 2010 at 2:19 pm #

    Because I’m planning on buying the audio version, shouted at me by Bob Katter.

  31. Matt 15 September 2010 at 2:38 pm #

    I’m on reverend Niles staff, too busy researching. Any boobies in comrades?

  32. Maryanne Ilic 15 September 2010 at 2:38 pm #

    more than 140 characters, try condensing it

  33. Robert 15 September 2010 at 2:54 pm #

    Spring; people of opposite gender are outdoors wearing less than usual amount of clothing.

  34. Alan Barcan 15 September 2010 at 3:56 pm #

    I am trying to send you an email about your book.It has helped me write my own. The emia addrtss on p.330 does not work — or is it not an email address?

    Can you give me one?

    PS I am aged 88, and find modern technology challenging !

  35. Dean 15 September 2010 at 4:47 pm #

    The dog ate my hands.

%d bloggers like this: