Lara Bingle, feminist warrior

Poor Lara Bingle. First someone steals her Aston Martin, and then the guy she used to shag, reportedly behind his wife’s back, turns out to be somewhat ungentlemanly. Imagine her surprise. And while you do, ask yourself when Brendan Fevola would have had the opportunity to take a photo of her in the shower, since I see from the previously-linked article that both denied having an affair at the time.

But this invasion of Bingle’s privacy must not stand. How is she supposed to maintain her career as a bikini model when people keep circulating photos of her semi-naked?

Fortunately, a white knight has ridden to her rescue – the legendary manager to the not-quite-stars, Max Markson. In a story that’s currently the top-ranked item on smh.com.au, presumably because readers hoped it would contain a link to the photo, he claims that Bingle’s decision to sue Fevola “strikes a blow for women’s rights”. Presumably that’s the right not to have nearly-naked photos of you taken by freeloading footballers instead of FHM and Ralph.

Bingle has, of course, previously posed topless for readers of German GQ, whose website melted down after Australian newspaper websites linked to it. Therefore, we can safely assume that anyone who desires to see any Binglean boobage has already done so. It should be an interesting defamation hearing.

The true source of Markson’s outrage, I presume, is that a photo of Lara Bingle’s breasts was printed in a magazine (Woman’s Day) without him getting his hefty percentage. But still, if he wants to make a women’s rights argument – and of course, they’re always best made by rich, powerful men, aren’t they? – here are a few other arguments he might care to use.

Lara smashes stereotypes: Forget being prim and ladylike – this is one feminist who’s not afraid to use a bit of blue language. Let’s not forget that Bingle first burst onto our screens asking “Where the bloody hell are you”, like any singlet-wearing Aussie bloke. It became an iconic statement, and was used extensively by Tourism Australia’s own managers when trying to figure out why Bingle’s ad hadn’t produced an uplift in visitors.

Lara advocates a woman’s right to work: Many young blonde women who hook up with successful sportswomen simply become homemakers. But not our Lara – she’s who’s one sister who is standing on her own two feet and ringing her own bells. As Markson’s own website says, “Lara is available for selected commercial opportunities, endorsements, ambassadorships, TV commercials, modeling & personal appearances.” Which came as a surprise to me – I didn’t realise the things she signed up for were “selected”

Lara has fought for equal relationships: This is one underwear model who expects nothing less than true equality from her partner. Which is presumably why Michael Clarke is also an underwear model.

Lara doesn’t need to stand by her man: She’d rather go on holiday to Bali than watch him play cricket. In fact, Bingle doesn’t even stand by her commitments to charity events.

Lara opposes the objectification of women: Lara won’t stand for a bunch of sexist blokes handing around a topless photo of her for tawdry sexual gratification. Unless she’s been paid.

Mr Markson is welcome to use these additional arguments on Bingle’s behalf at no charge, as unfamiliar a concept as that may be to him. And I welcome his comments on matters of gender rights, as someone who has proven himself an equal opportunity employer. Aas his record shows, Markson doesn’t discriminate between male and female flash-in-the-pan internet celebrities when he’s offering them the unlikely promise of a career. Just ask Corey Worthington and Clare Werbeloff. If you can rememember who they are.

Note: I decided not to use a photo of Bingle to illustrate this article, on the basis we’ve already seen more than enough of her.


12 Responses to Lara Bingle, feminist warrior

  1. Dom 2 March 2010 at 4:03 pm #

    C’mon Dom

    Funny as your blog is Lara does have the right to decide who and when is allowed to use nude photos of her for profit – Men do tend to think that once they have slept with you they have a certain ownership of your body in perpetuity… Fevola is a PIG and deserves everything he gets.

    Dom

    I do actually agree that there should be a right to privacy concerning nudie pix of oneself (although to the best of my knowledge, there isn’t in current Australian law.) I just found the argument Markson used to make it patently ridiculous. PS – this isn’t my internal dialogue, although I did ask myself this question – the comment was posted by another Dom.

  2. Shane 2 March 2010 at 4:11 pm #

    Also, it’s impossible to rape a prostitute because they get paid to have sex for a living.

  3. Kwyjibo 2 March 2010 at 4:34 pm #

    The worst part of it all is the fact it made front page of the Herald Scum… is the idea of a previously topless model being naked news? Is the idea of an already disgraced loutish footballer being a dick news? Just shows how sad we are to pay attention to this tripe.

    You’re dead right. Even though I just, um, paid attention to this triple.

  4. Spamdrew 2 March 2010 at 4:48 pm #

    I want to start a new search site, kinda of a cross between Bing and Google. For finding where the bloody hell you are. I’m gonna call it Bingle.

  5. al 2 March 2010 at 7:19 pm #

    to defame ones character doesn’t she have to have some character of good repute to start with? Bet you Mrs Fev would debate that point!!!!

    Just and observation Dom, if Lara does have the right to decide who and when is allowed to use nude photos of her for profit she should be suing the magazine.

  6. Jodi 2 March 2010 at 8:10 pm #

    Your blog gave me a laugh, but I also think you’re being unfair. Just because Bingle is a bikini model and not a Rhodes scholar doesn’t mean an intimate moment in the shower should be up for grabs. She has a right to be treated with respect like anyone else. Brendan Fevola is a massive tosser who deserves any negative outcome he gets… and what is with his WIFE staying with him?!

  7. Amy 2 March 2010 at 8:32 pm #

    So next time I do something as risque as have a shower, I’ll be sure to check that there are no peeping toms, upskirters or footy players lurking with a camera in the near vicinity. ‘Cos apparently when people bleat ‘consenting adults’ they don’t really mean it, and if my non-consensual image ends up all over the Internet nobody will really give a rats, including the law which is apparently inadequate to protect me.

    Regardless of who Lara Bingle is, how she earns her money, who she sleeps with or whether or not this is all just a publicity stunt, the principle remains that people have a right to privacy and to consent to what images they pose for or have disseminated in the media. If there is no law covering this kind of predatory behaviour there should be.

  8. Dom 3 March 2010 at 10:05 am #

    Yes I really am not Dom Knight… for starters I am a gal

  9. Ben 3 March 2010 at 11:59 am #

    Dom, I normally agree with a lot of what you said but I think that this post of yours sounds a little bit misogynistic what you imply that just because she poses semi nude for a living she shouldn’t have control of when she exhibits herself and in what circumstances. If I was to follow that logic then something like rape within married couples wouldn’t exist.

  10. mr-crash 4 March 2010 at 6:06 pm #

    I’m no lawyer, nor do I play one on television – but our defamation laws are pretty pro-plaintiff and I think an action asserting that the publication of these photos created some kind of imputation would probably succeed.

    There’s some basis in this in: Ettinghasuen v Australian Consolidated Press (1991) 23 NSWLR 443 – which is actually a pretty amusing read, because the counsel for the plaintiff asks the ACP dude if he thinks the image of a man’s exposed penis could in fact be a duck.

    Just saying. The article did make me giggle though…

  11. Legal Eagle 13 March 2010 at 3:16 am #

    Hey Dom
    We tried to give a legal analysis on just what Bingle is trying to argue. Look forward to your comments
    fortnightlyreview.info

  12. bellinda 14 March 2010 at 10:57 pm #

    aaaahhh boooo hoooo lara dont feel sorry for you one bit , however i did till you flushed the ring just showed a better light to you …. and michael pat on the back mate how did you handle her ???

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