No more gawking at Hawkins

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There is already far too much Jennifer Hawkins in this world, so I can’t help but applaud Auckland airport’s decision to ban a billboard featuring her in a skimpy bra. Not because I’m prudish, which seems to be the main reason for the decision, but because the joke on the sign may be one of the lamest ever. She’s cuddling a stuffed rhino against her Miss-Universe winning chest (oh that’s right, sorry, it was all about her personality, wasn’t it?) And guess what the slogan says? It asks whether the viewer is horny. Because rhinos have horns. Boom-tish!


I know what you’re thinking. Not “wow, those are breasts”, unless you’re male and under the age of 15. You’re thinking it’s the worst pun you’ve ever seen. And you’d be right. I don’t have any objection to ogling Jennifer Hawkins’ body; in fact, I’m marginally in favour of it. But I’m dead against jokes like that being aired in public, no matter how attractive the woman alongside it.
Consequently, I appreciate what the airport spokesman describes as a decision made due to sensitivity over other backgrounds. Yes, many backgrounds are offended by skimpy clothing. Feminists are offended by the blatant exploitation of women, although to be fair if Hawkins is getting paid for this crap I’d query who’s exploiting who. Whereas my personal beliefs dictate that I get offended by this lame attempt at humour.
Not only that – it’s a ridiculous ad anyway. Lingerie’s usually purchased by women, isn’t it? And why would the ladies want to buy bras from ads that inquire whether they’re horny over Jennifer Hawkins? Bizarre.
I have also had trouble understanding why some media outlets have weighed into the Kiwis over a perceived lack of sense of humour. I was in the process of applauding them when I read the airport employee’s defence. He says “If you straw-polled most of the people around our office they just had a good laugh and think it’s great,” he said. So perhaps we should be concerned about the Kiwis’ sense of humour after all?
Come back, Elle Macpherson’s underwear campaign, all is forgiven. At least The Body never bothered us with lame puns.
Dominic Knight

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