Its time I stopped writing about affairs in the wider world, and used this blog as the confessional for indulging private concerns that is the trademark of blogging. Because theres something I need to get off my chest. I am in an abusive relationship. And it doesnt hurt any less just because it happens to be with my computer.
It seems all I do is give. Constantly I lavish lavish care, affection and time on my beloved Powerbook. I shower it with gifts a new mouse, a pretty stand. And it said I wasnt giving it enough space, so I even bought it an external hard drive. And what do I get in return? Today, it left me.
Sure, the hollow shell of what once was my laptop remains. But the computer I once knew, with all my emails and files, has gone. And Im brokenhearted.
I was a fool. I fell so deeply for it because of its looks. Call me superficial, but its just so beautiful. And not just in a shallow, exterior kind of way. If youve ever spent much time using the Mac operating system, youll know its beautiful on the inside too.
And Im not alone 472 other people on this site alone have fallen under its spell. And some guy even wrote a book about it called Love At First Boot. Not even Im that big an Apple tragic.
But back to my heartbreak. The biggest problem started yesterday, when I turned on the computer only to get this message:
What a beautifully designed error screen! Its so typically Apple, with multiple languages and everything. They really are good at aesthetics. Much better than the Windows blue screen of death.
But unfortunately, when I followed the instructions and restarted it, the same thing happened again. And again. Which made me wonder, sacrilegiously I know, that perhaps they could have put a bit less thought into having it display all those languages so beautifully, and perhaps more into explaining WHATS ACTUALLY WRONG WITH THE BLOODY THING AND HOW YOU FIX IT.
My Mac guru friend explained to me that this error is known as kernel panic. Which to me sounds like a stoners late night KFC run. But I figured it was okay. I back up daily, and MacOS has an excellent repair system if you boot from the system DVD, it fixes itself. Only while I was booting from the DVD, it crashed again.
So I figured Id ring the Apple support line. Its only six months old, after all. And it came with a years warranty. So guess how much they wanted to tell me how to fix my wonderful, nearly-new, already-horribly-overpriced laptop?
No, thats not a typo. It really does cost $579. For which I get three years warranty and phone support. Because while Id gotten a fairly ungenerous years warranty with the machine, it turns out that the standard phone support is only three months. For a laptop that costs more than almost anything else on the market. Its outrageous. Its disgusting. And it didnt make me feel any better when the technician said I could get one-time phone support for a mere $50.
So I restarted it, and restarted it, and eventually managed to reinstall the operating system. It worked beautifully, backing up my old system and copying across all my files, programmes and settings automatically. It even remembered my passwords. Beautiful ease of use, as usual. Theres no way a Windows PC can do that.
Except then when I restarted it, it froze like a cheap Dell with no class.
So its off to the repair shop this afternoon. And I just cant function. No programs, no files, no bookmarks, no passwords. Even my simplest daily tasks, like reading the blog comments, are extremely painful. I am having serious abandonment issues.
But most of all, I just feel used.