And now for something completely ditzy…

With so many comments to yesterday’s flag post, some of which required serious filtration, I’ve been preoccupied by thinking about these complex issues again today. So for today’s instalment, let’s change gears completely. To the lightest, fluffiest topic of all – Paris Hilton. Let me applaud whoever came up with the headline on the SMH homepage about Paris trying to shut down a website full of nude photos of her – “Paris seeks redress”. Surely, people, racist rednecks and arrogant inner-city latte sippers alike can come together for that one universal goal – to laugh at Paris Hilton?

Apparently Paris was “shocked and surprised” that naked photos of her that were supposed to be in a storage locker were posted on the internet. Really? After people even hacked into her cellphone and put her nudie pics on the internet?

Okay, so you and I may have naively assumed that every extant image of Paris naked or having sex was already in the public domain. But Paris, surely, knew she had another cache of home-made porn out there. And for some reason, didn’t destroy it. So really, what were the odds of it not getting an airing online? Paris, if you’re reading, I’d henceforth work on the assumption that every image of you ever taken is going to wind up on the internet. So, like, um, maybe you might want to rethink your hobby of posing nude for the cameras? There are plenty of other, slightly less humiliating ways of embarrassing yourself – releasing another single, perchance?

So Paris, as always, is the big loser. But how about the folk who bought her stuff for $2775 and on-sold it for $10 million? Despite its ubiquity, Paris’ lack of dignity certainly has a huge price. She really should just swallow what little presumably remains of her pride and become an adult star. I mean, by choice. At least she’d be the one making the money.

I am particularly amazed that the domain “” was still available for the purchasers to set up the photos taken from Paris’ storage locker. Surely, given her boundless penchant for scandal, all possible Paris domain names have now been taken by cybersquatters? I did a little test just now, and much to my surprise is still available – and surely a valuable investment given her career to date – but I bet that’s it’s just about the only Paris-related domain name still available.

Sadly for those folks who might have wanted to pay $39.97 to see what surely everyone with an internet connection is already sick to death of, the site’s now been shut down. And you can guess its owners are in a bit of legal trouble. Presumably the copyright holder didn’t consent to their publication (which, I believe, a separate legal issue to buying the items themselves.)

Now, here’s where I tenuously, and ultimately unsuccessfully, link this issue to something more serious in an attempt to add gravitas to a frivolous post. Let us reflect. We treat refugees escaping from brutal regimes as if they’re criminals, locking them up for months at a time, and yet we let Paris freely enter Australia whenever she feels like it. There’s something seriously wrong with this country.

There’s something seriously wrong with Paris as well, of course. Perhaps it’s all the Tampax she’s been smoking?

Stay tuned for Episode #257,385 in the long-running drama series that is Paris Hilton’s frequently naked, invariably photographed life next week.

Dominic Knight

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