Sydney's top 10 APEC sights
While you're here for the APEC summit, why not enjoy some sightseeing at some of Sydney's world-famous tourist attractions? This top 10 list has been updated to take account of the special conditions prevailing during the conference.
1. Sydney Harbour and the Opera House
Sydney's harbour is world famous, and its legendary Opera House is regularly named as one of the most beautiful buildings in the world. Unfortunately, during APEC, you may not visit the building, or approach it, or travel on the harbour, or even look at the harbour because of the security barriers around most of the major waterside vantage points. But postcards are readily available during your stay and, trust us, it's all very beautiful.
2. Taronga Zoo
All of the best animals have been moved to Garden Island for the private enjoyment of world leaders, but Taronga Zoo still boasts some state-of-the-art empty cages.
3. Great Wall Of Sydney
Scotland has Hadrian's Wall, China its Great Wall, and now Sydney has a massive wall around much of the city. Our Great Wall may not be visible from space (but then again nor is the Chinese one, despite the urban myth) but it's certainly an eyesore in most of the city. Like the Great Wall Of China, you can walk along sections of it. But unlike the Great Wall, if you do so, you will be arrested, or possibly shot.
4. Historic Parramatta
During the conference, NSW Police are running free courtesy buses to this historic centre, located by the picturesque Parramatta River. Under the special APEC legislation, those arrested in the APEC Zone will be transported to Parramatta for charging. Those planning on availing themselves of this convenient service should note that, because of the bars over the windows, views from the buses will be limited. Ditto the cells.
5. Wet 'n' Wild water cannon
Forget the Manly Waterworks. During APEC, water-time fun has come to the heart of the city! A quick blast from the police's high-powered water cannon will have you drenched in moments. Particularly recommended for visiting protesters who haven't washed in months.
6. The Running Of The Motorcades
In Pamplona, tourists run down cobbled streets in front of enraged bulls. But in Sydney this week, feral protesters will run in front of presidential motorcades in a pointless attempt to disrupt them. It's likely to be bloodier than any Running Of The Bulls.
7. Little Baghdad
Sydney is known for its many colourful ethnic neighbourhoods, which bring a taste of their home country to create a rich multicultural patchwork. During the meeting, Sydneysiders will have a chance to sample Baghdad's renowned Green Zone via the intense security of the APEC Zone, which will protect those inside from the indignity of any contact with ordinary people in the country they're visiting.
8. Street racing
Sydney's many hoons love speeding around the city's renowned street racing circuits, such as the Hickson Road area. During APEC, a single circuit can take hours thanks to the frequent traffic interruptions! You've never had a race that lasted this long.
9. Bondi Beach
The famous beach is also known for its high concentration of intoxicated tourists, especially on the Sunday of the conference when Janette Howard hosts her counterparts at Bondi Icebergs for an afternoon on the pink champagne.
10. Rifle range
It's one big gun fair for shooting aficionados during APEC, with some of the latest paramilitary equipment being deployed on rooftops around the city. And, during the meeting, Sydney is being converted into the world's largest sniper rifle range. Note that gun enthusiasts should not attempt to purchase any of the weapons on display, or attempt to trade any of their own firearms with those on official duty, lest they themselves are used for target practice.