Comrades giveaway

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I’m going to post a signed copy of Comrades to the person who leaves the most amusing excuse for why they haven’t read it yet. Please leave yours below and don’t forget to include your email address! (Update: it’s now closed.)

Thanks – many of them were very funny! Here are some of the Twitter entries.

nicolefouzas: @domknight Because I live in western sydney and thus as a woman am not allowed to read. *sadface*
Scossie: @domknight was scared a Coalition government would outlaw Comrades and start book burning after it disposed of boat people and killed NBN
JonoMakai: @domknight Haven’t read Comrades because I’m waiting for it to come out in ‘pop-up’.
kitschnkaboodle: @domknight too late to win, and I have read it but my answer is ‘because it’s problematic’
vitriolandbile: @domknight but not an excuse to limit your reading according to technological fashions 🙂
MsDzT: @vitriolandbile @domknight GET A LIFE
StephPuls: @domknight Because I’m too busy raising funds for a proper publicity campaign for it.
juliabowes: @domknight because it doesn’t feature me… Oh and I spent all my book buying money on beer at the launch
alancramer: @domknight WTF is comrades?
significance: @domknight I haven’t read Comrades because I’m waiting for the movie to come out.
bradlancken: @domknight oh and because I found the wanky, arrogant young lib usu president a confronting stereotype 😉
bradlancken: @domknight because I thought the final product was unlikely to be an improvement on the imperious draft!
tallhayden: @domknight I havent read Comrades yet because Im waiting for Andrew Hansen to make a song about it instead.
jiangyin: @domknight because i’m waiting for the movie to come out first :p
freed_misery: @domknight Haven’t read Comrades yet since I’ve been smuggling in refugees to spite Tony Abbott.
irascibleman: @domknight Haven’t read Comrades yet because I’m too afraid I’ll identify too much with the characters in it. #follysofyouth
benharkin: @domknight I haven’t read Comrades because my dog ate it. He loves devouring good literature, and has a keen eye for page-churners.
jdmau: @domknight because Comrades was not on Bob Katter’s 20 point plan.
AndrewRiddle36: @domknight @therealamylou Mew meat dress? It’s made out of kittens? THERE’S your shock value.
therealamylou: @domknight Too busy sewing my new meat dress!
benharkin: @domknight Because there’s only 9 minutes left in this excuse-making for the book and I had to think up a good one!
MsDzT: @domknight i havent read comrades because it isnt available on kindle.
gregorstronach: @domknight Haven’t read Comrades due to professional jealousy.
booktopia: @domknight My therapist says the only way to a full recovery is to forget that I ever readComrades.So I guess I haven’t?…
sarahlalalala: @domknight because I refuse to pay retail price, unlike @Wil_Anderson ‘s ‘Survival of the Dumbest’ which is $14 on eBay.
mattyburke: @domknight in Soviet Russia BOOK READS YOU!
RadleyStreet: @domknight i actually did buy it, but my dog ate it before i could read it…
brensoft: @domknight Haven’t read Comrades cause I’m too busy avoiding those SRC president campaigners.
benharkin: @domknight I’m a Russian writer locked up in a Gulag too long. I thought your book on the experiences would depress me further, Comrade.
LivBird8: @domknight Because I’m too busy trying to think of something witty to tweet to you to win myself a free copy
ScrappyMe: @domknight more than 140 characters, try condensing it
kitjoegia: @domknight I havent read comrades because i usually wait for the movie
@reynoldsgf: @domknight because I’m Tony Abbott. Really.”
buffeh: @domknight because I’m obviously not smart enough to come up with a witty political joke that will help me win.
angryshot: @domknight because you haven’t sent it to me yet
RietJR: @domknight The bourgeoisie took all my money
maldeviant: @domknight This is the first I have heard of this… It’s a book yes?\
SamuelMullins: @domknight been reading Dostoevsky. I figure I need to build to a book like yours.
PierreBezuhov: I haven’t finished reading “Faceless knife-wielding night-time murdering knifing bastards”.
mrtiedt: @domknight Because I’m planning on buying the audio version, shouted at me by Bob Katter.
mrtiedt: @domknight Because I couldn’t find any sticker saying “As Seen on TV”. I only read books that Oprah tells me to read.
markperryAU: @domknight Dom who?
Forkgen2309: @domknight Because the World Cup was on and now the Premier League has started again!
tallhayden: @domknight because Im not bourgeoise and there is very little reading light down the mineshaft where I work.
reynoldsgf: @domknight because I’m Tony Abbott. Really.
carlytamarin: @domknight because I haven’t been reeducated yet.
mrtiedt: @domknight Because I’m fairly certain Clive Palmer ate my copy.
budgieishere: @domknight if I read political satire, I get ebola.
counterobsess: @domknight Because I didn’t know it existed.
brettacollett: @domknight I haven’t read Comrades yet because I’m locked away in a Gulag. HALP!
sarahlalalala: @domknight I haven’t won a free copy yet.
MrAndrewD: @domknight because it’s not for sale where I am!
colsim: @domknight Because it’s a self-serving reactionary piece of propaganda designed to keep the proletariat in stitches and off the barricades
bharm0: @domknight Because it wasn’t on the book list recommended 2 me by a retrenched Telstra employee from Tamworth aka “advisor 2 the ignorant”
kl_003: @domknight Because Disco Boy didnt root around enough
jdmau: @domknight because the us unemployment rate is 10.5%.
trishjb: @domknight coz I haven’t even read disco boy yet. #pointsforknowingyourfirstbook?
buffeh: @domknight I was going to, but then you gave it away.
schlep_star: @domknight I’m a neocon tosspot who is threatened by the very mention of a pinko leftist student polity tome? #maynotbeatruedescription
CaptnSassyPants: @domknight Because I asked Rob Oakeshott to outline the plot for me and I’m still waiting for him to finish…
ruthgreenwood: @domknight can we make that free postage? #iwanttoreadcomrades
dingotookmybaby: @domknight me read books now? Unpossible
GaloisGhost: @domknight Did you write a book? Is that what you do?
courteneyh: @domknight because I’ve been hiding in bob katter’s hat advising him (badly) about who to pick.
emmajapan: @domknight Because I really only like reading your books while on filthy trains between Delhi and Varanassi?
buffeh: @domknight because you haven’t given it to me, slacker.
wallacesutty: @domknight because @andrewbolt advises against reading such barbarians.
JamesTinniswood: @domknight I’m allergic to literature. It makes me break out in a scarf.
typingmonkey: @domknight I didn’t read Comrades because my stockbroker advised me that it was unprofitable. Besides, reading’s for fags.
Australianne: @domknight um, that would be because I’ve never HEARD of it!
IanLoveridge: @domknight Didn’t think it was legal?
LisaWakeUp: @domknight Because I haven’t even gotten around to reading the free signed copy of Disco Boy you gave me… [true! from previous competition]
gerardchogan: @domknight waiting for the twitterised 140 chr-instalment version: “cmrds”
macleanbrendan: @domknight I took precautionary measures against my inevitable Oedipus complex.
nickspurway: @domknight I’m too busy replacing your DOA iMac.
tip66: @domknight because if you have to give them away then it must not be any good
ret56fe: @domknight Still waiting on delivery of a signed copy from its slackarsed author… [NB this is true!]
philsenior77: @domknight ’cause I heard it sucked. Wouldn’t mind a free copy though 😉
rachaelsowden: @domknight I am waiting for you to send me a signed copy to Uralla. We have no bookshops and I couldn’t find your website. 😉
paper_bag_girl: @domknight because.
timothygoyder: @domknight But like Ben Cousins, I’m keen to get on the gear again, however bad it is for me, and would love your book
timothygoyder: @domknight i have election/political PTSD- & thus have been abstaining from political books – even funny ones.
danielstone: @domknight I’ve been pretending to write my thesis?
mrbenjaminlaw: @domknight I can’t read.
Jo_MacD: @domknight Because my signed copy hasn’t arrived in the post yet?
mrtiedt: @domknight Because my name is P Garrett and I’ve been gagged and chained to a pole in the basement of parliament house for the last 8 weeks

35 thoughts on “Comrades giveaway”

  1. Because my name is P Garrett and I’ve been gagged and chained to a pole in the basement of parliament house for the last 8 weeks

  2. I was kidnapped by aliens, strangely they resembled a colony of Tony Abbott lookalikes. After they probed my brain, they wiped my memory and ability to think rationally or feel emotion. I left the ship with a strange dislike of foreigners and paranoid that Australia was going to be taken over by people on boats. It is only after months of repression hypnosis therapy I was able to relive the abduction, the only thing I have been reading for months is a bible. My therapist is slowly introducing me to new literature to reintroduce me to important ideas such as tolerance, acceptance, and the UN Convention on Refugees. She says Comrades is important for my recovery. Don’t let me turn into a Liberal clone… please, because of my memory loss I don’t remember who I voted for. I need to ensure I am properly reconditioned by the next election.

  3. My serious excuse is that I’m about to go overseas for a year to teach in a volunteer capacity and don’t have money to spend on luxury items at the moment. My amusing excuse is that reading books is bad for the environment. It promotes the destruction of forests, just so selfish people can read books printed on paper that KILL THE EARTH!

  4. I have been too busy trying to avoid student politics this year and was worried it would make me go straight back to it.

  5. I haven’t read Comrades yet as the purple llama called Sarah who I use to ride to town and do my shopping on, was kidnapped by Santa Claus and taken to the middle of the desert. She tried to contact me and apologise for not being able to take me (as she is my only form of transport since Frederick the walrus tragically died in a freak mayonnaise accident) but then realised she was a llama and llamas don’t talk, they only spit. When I found out what Santa had done to poor Sarah, I set off immediately for the desert but was forced to stop because a parade of three-headed ninja ferrets claimed that they owned the desert and that I could not pass. I then returned to my house and realised I could simply have walked to the shop to buy a copy of Comrades but then my legs fell off which made walking quite difficult and for that matter any transportation because I don’t have wheels either.

  6. Well I was going to read it of course, but I’m broke at the moment and can’t afford it. I’m waiting until the economy picks up so I can get a better job and be able to buy it. But then I heard that the Government and Tourism Australia have spent $3 Million of our Tax dollars bringing the multi-billionaire Oprah out here thus making Australia broke, Oprah even richer, and our economy and livelihood doomed. I need to save all my pennies. Sorry Dom.

  7. Whilst I am just a poor boy, and I need no symphony. I believe that with this book I will move forward, with the help of this book I will tackle the greatest moral challenge of our generation.

    That and my bank balance is currently 3cents, screenshot provided if you wish :P.

  8. “The SRC dis-endorses this unofficial and publication; a publication which intends to disrupt the unity of our union, to distort the facts of our benevolent attempts at domination, to pollute your minds with filthy lies that drag the name our our revered institution through the mud! Rise up COMRADES and put down this revolutionist capitalist pig!!”
    Urgent Propang.. umm Press Release from the SRC at the University of 1984.

  9. “The SRC dis-endorses this unofficial and publication; a publication which intends to disrupt the unity of our union, to distort the facts of our benevolent attempts at domination, to pollute your minds with filthy lies that drag the name our our revered institution through the mud! Rise up COMRADES and put down this revolutionist capitalist pig!!”
    Urgent Propagan.. umm Press Release from the SRC at the University of Sydney.

  10. “We have had feedback that the SRC is spamming this forum with multiple posts with the same content. It is not us, we say, but merely the lacklustre response of a capitalist pig’s website! Further proof that our way is the only way moving forward. Resistance is futile!”

    P.S. Actually, very sorry for double post, browser hung on me and I didn’t realise it had already been accepted…

  11. I’ve been too busy reading The Atlantic’s review of Jonathan Franzen’s Freedom – a book that one assumes should be prioritised over all others, given that Franzen is, apparently, the sine qua non of modern novelists and looks mysteriously like a young Stephen King on that recent cover of Time magazine. Yet the review itself delivers such a satisfying dollop of schadenfreude that I can’t help rereading it – and this prevents me from buying anyone else’s book, let alone reading it. That, and I’m obsessively watching Battlestar Galactica (Edward James Olmos version).

  12. Too busy peeling grapes and shining shoes for Roozendaal, mate.

    Says a few more years of this and he’ll set me up in a nice new house in Wollongong.
    Apparently he knows a builder or something.

  13. I’ve been too busy reading books by @JohnBirmingham and @scrivenersfancy.

    It’s not that I don’t care, they are just ahead of you in the line.

    If my copy arrives by the end of the week though there might be opportunity to jump the queue. If your nice about it I might even write a crap (as in poorly written) review on blog that no-one reads, that’s bound to help you move some units!

  14. The Opposition have told me I don’t need the full NBN fibre version of your book… but will offer me a cliff notes version instead….

  15. I am trying to send you an email about your book.It has helped me write my own. The emia addrtss on p.330 does not work — or is it not an email address?

    Can you give me one?

    PS I am aged 88, and find modern technology challenging !

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