Drop my baby one more time

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Britney Spears nearly dropped her baby last week, after stumbling out of a hotel carrying a glass in one hand and Sean Preston in the other. She has driven with Sean on her lap and in an illegal baby seat; and he’s fallen out of his high chair. Here are the odds on some other awful things that will happen to her unfortunate offspring in the near future

  • Forced to appear in a Kevin Federline video clip. 8-1
  • Next horrific fall will be captured on America’s Funniest Home Video Show. 10-1
  • Gets adopted out to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. 25-1
  • Brought onstage at the Logies by Bec and Lleyton. 10,000-1
  • Traumatising visit with “uncle” Michael Jackson. 500-1
  • Gets girlfriend pregnant and then walks out on her, just like Daddy. 30-1
  • Pre-school friends will mock him mercilessly. 3-1
  • Britney lets him drive her car next time. 2-1
  • Dead by age five. Certainty

Lucky there’s a spare on the way.