Homies. I said, homies. The decision not to let Snoop Dogg into Australia is without doubt the most wack the Howard Government’s ever made in its eleven years in control of this hood. So, Snoop has a history of issues with firearms and marijuana. Hello? Has Immigration Minister Kevin Andrew not listened to the guy’s music or something? And listen up, Kevin. Dude, on the streets, packing sidearms and a little sticky-icky is how you pass a character test. Yo.
As Snoop puts it, he has Paid Tha Cost To Be Da Boss. Sorry, I mean, Bo$$. Yes, Snoop is a gangsta rapper. But here’s the thing. Here’s the distinction that is no doubt lost on those who don’t roll with Tha Dogg. Being a gangsta is not the same as being a gangster. It’s all posturing. Entertainment. And sure, DIMIA may not understand why the kids like to listen to black men talking rhythmically over a beat, but that makes DIMIA a bunch of squares.
Snoop is an artist, and in many ways, his life is his greatest artwork. Not many people decide to host their own porno, for instance. Called Doggystyle, of course. Snoop doesn’t actually ‘feature’ in it, but he intros the whole thing, apparently. There are endless amusing Dogg stories, but I was a big fan of the one yesterday from the MTV Awards in Copenhagen. Every gangsta rapper confrontation must, for some reason, take place at a nightclub. After the show, Snoop’s entourage were telling a bunch of men to leave the club so that more ladies could come in. The problem is, one of the men they tried to physically remove was Crown Prince Frederik. The royal bodyguards weren’t in the least bit amused, and the Dogg Pound, or whatever they’re called these days, backed down.
Later on, the police raided and found a big bag of marijuana. What a surprise. I mean, it’s not like every single Snoop album features sound effects of the guy inhaling or anything.
Look, I don’t want to be too flippant about this. I’m not a huge fan of guns at any point, and drugs are serious, and blah blah blah. But Snoop is essentially harmless. He’s an entertainer – both musically, and in terms of his lifestyle. I’d love to see him out here, hitting the talk show circuit. He’s the king of awesome cameos – check out his performances in Starsky & Hutch and Old School. And we don’t have any hip-hop performers in this country with a fraction of his rhymin’ skills or sheer charisma. Without Snoop, what do we have? The Hilltop Hoods? Please. They’ve just recorded an album with an orchestra, for goodness’ sake. And not just any one. The Adelaide Symphony Orchestra. Could you get any less street cred if you tried.
We need to change the decision and let Snoop in. Sure, some fairly minor s**t might "go down", as the rap aficionados like to put it, but nothing major. He might have to do some community service, but ultimately, Snoop is harmless. He wouldn’t hurt a fly, unless it buzzed into his dime bag. He’s always entertaining, and most importantly, our country won’t look like a bunch of killjoy honkeys.
As anyone who’s ever hung tough on the streets of Compton ("City Of Compton") knows, who you represent is important. Well, right now, we’re represented by Kevin Andrew. And that ain’t cool.