The Corby-Power race to the bottom

I don’t know who to believe, the Corby lasses or Jodie Power. And really, what a dilemma. In one corner, there’s the lovely Schapelle, one of Australia’s favourite convicted drug traffickers (and bestselling authors to boot), and her loyal sister Mercedes. Alongside them is Rosleigh Rose, that most endearing of mothers who once quipped that she didn’t mind having multiple children in jail, because at least she knew where they were. Obviously the Corbys have a special place in my heart. But then there’s a new competitor for my affections, the ever-so-classy Jodie Power, who’s accused all three Corby women of drug trafficking for money and gotten a big fat cheque from Today Tonight. Really, which side to back? It’s almost as vexing a conundrum as choosing a favorite Daddo brother.

Due to a long-standing belief that watching Today Tonight or A Current Affair rots the brain, I have been sadly unable to review the documentary evidence first-hand. But Jodie Power does seem delightfully crass. This is someone who was at one point the best of friends with the Corbys, loudly proclaiming Schapelle’s innocence to every available media outlet. Now she’s had a change of heart, saying not only that Schapelle was guilty but that Mercedes and mum were filthy drug traffickers to boot. Not just that, but they used the stuff as well. As had she. Hideous revelations indeed, both in terms of their substance and how they make Power look.

Perhaps I’m being unfair. Perhaps none of us could resist airing our friends’ dirty laundry, whether real or imagined, when that temptress Anna Coren came past waving her siren chequebook? Perhaps none of us are safe from having our comments analysed by a phalanx of dubious “body language experts” who inevitably achieve the conclusion that the current affairs show footing the bill wants them to? I don’t know whether I’d do what she’s done, but I invite ACA and TT to wave money in my direction to find out.

And really, who’d have guessed it was possible for Today Tonight to become even more tawdry after Naomi Robson left it? Of course that’s what this is really about – the heated ratings battle between the Australian media’s two tackiest outlets. And with ACA ahead on a technicality after Seven boned its presenter, TT has had to pull all the stops out. Whether or not the Corbys or Power were drug mules, they’ve certainly become tabloid mules to be flogged by Channels Nine and Seven.

The best way to resolve this dispute, though, is surely for Corby and Power to get in the ring and slug it out. No holds or dubious accusations barred. A fight to the disrepute, or perhaps even the death. And of course, for Power to participate, it’d have to be pay-per-view.

Which would only be appropriate, because the people fuelling this are the viewers that tune in night after night to see crappy claim vs counter-claim. If no-one watched, TT would have to return to its regular fodder of miracle diets and close-ups of new bras. Otherwise, while they remain in the spotlight, the biggest loser in the Corby-Power battle is surely us ourselves.

Dominic Knight

Photo: Channel Seven

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